Weee...........................

Dear Blog,

I am officially addicted to angry birds!

I wanted to help the angry birds so badly. Those pigs are so so so evil!

Well, at least it helped me during unhappy moments.

I realised I missed a lot of people, especially people that I have not seen for one or two months.

I realised I am trying to force myself not to talk to my friends on MSN nowadays unless they messaged me, or unless I really really needed them. This would reduce the trouble caused by over obsession of chatting with certain people in my mind. This would also reduce the disappointment in me when I do not get the desired response from my friends. It would also reduce the uncertainty that I have within myself regarding my friends.

Probably this is a better way of assurance for me.

Till next time.

Gah Hung

rain rain rain......

Dear Blog,

Its raining again in Singapore.

Although I am in the lab, I know its raining outside because my phone tells me about the weather outside! Yes i have changed to a new smartphone. My new HTC sensation is just superb! I love it so much! Android is doing so good!

And I think I will fall sick very soon. Again! Rain water is so "poisoning"!

I have a question in my mind now!

I wonder how many people actually like me and how many people actually dislike me?

Sometimes I really want to know what other people REALLY thinks about me. Am I annoying? or am I too pushy?

I realised that knowing the truth is a great assurance for me. No matter the truth hurts or not.

Till next time.

Gah Hung

After the Kuching trip......

Dear Blog,

Just came back from Kuching. Tired.

After all the feast in Kuching, and YES, I mean FEAST, my body could not take it anymore. I start to have flu and sore throat! Luckily its after I savour all the good food in Kuching. At least I would get a chance to lose some weight while taking care of my diet!

After the Kuching trip, my suspicion is being confirmed! I am still under the "post UK trip syndrome". I feel tired easily, and am able to sleep non-stop for many hours. I fall asleep easily in the afternoon. I feel tired during dinner time. My eyes can barely open. Even my cousin asked me whether I was too tired on the grandma's birthday dinner. My whole body just sort of gave up on me. My energy level is always at minimal almost everyday, even though I have enough sleep at night.

After the Kuching trip, I realised how important family members are. Their support and care are just incomparable. We should always treasure this kind of relationship!

For now, its back on Earth. Going back to Singapore tomorrow to continue working in lab.

Till next time!

Gah Hung

Dental appointment

Dear Blog,

I went to see a dentist today. Its a follow up of my previous so called MOS - minor oral surgery, to extract my badly decayed wisdom tooth.

I thought it would be a simple procedure of filling up the cavity, but it turns out to be more complicated than i thought. Here is the background. The badly decayed wisdom tooth was affecting my adjacent molar tooth due to improper "wisdom tooth management". Food residue had been stuck in the area for at least 4 years, causing the tooth both side to decay slowly. The cavity at my molar tooth was very deep at the side, very near to the nerves. To prevent pain during the filling up procedure, I was injected with anesthesia before the procedure started. The procedure went smoothly in the end, thank God.

At the moment of writing this blog, I am watching Venue Williams playing Ana Ivanovic at the tournament in Eastbourne. Venus looks very sharp in her play, while Ana just sort of inconsistent in her serves, her groundstrokes and her volley. Should be an easy win for Venus. I am looking forward more to the Serena Williams vs Vera Zvonereva match later. Should be an interesting ones.

I am going to Kuching tomorrow. Can't wait to meet my cousins. I think they have grown up a lot since last time I met them.

Till next time.

Gah Hung

p/s Venus just won the match as I finished writing this.

不能接受自己？

亲爱的部落格，

决定还是把此刻的心情记录起来。哪知有一天重新翻阅，还觉得可笑呢！也有可能读者会觉得这是废话连篇，一点都不成熟。哈哈！

自从我到了新加坡深造，发现自己内心的转变非常大。这也不能完全怪新加坡，只能怪自己太过软弱，容易被环境牵着鼻子走。

我发现我已经变得跟四年前不一样了。[一样还得了！] 我发现自己仿佛内心出现两个身份，其中一个佳训正在观看另外一个佳训转变，变成一个很奇怪的人。虽然旧的佳训还在，但好像被一层新的佳训覆盖着。

这个人非常情绪化，每一天的心情好像过山车一样，到了顶点，就俯冲直下。内心情绪的不安虽然很少写在脸上，但却很现实的影响我的正常生活。我觉得好辛苦啊！身边的朋友时常都必须忍受我没完没了的申诉，实在有点不好意思。

这个人非常没有安全感。每一天都会觉得全世界都放弃了他、讨厌他、不喜欢他。这个人每一天所期盼的，就是得到某种的肯定。他会从自己所听见的、所看见的对方的言行举止，来“判断”自己所做的是否是对或错。如果发现任何所谓的”异常“，就会觉得很沮丧，觉得自己作错了，然后设法弥补。我知道很多时候是自己想得太多，但我阻止不了我自己这么去想。我会觉得我得罪了全世界的人，我不讨身边的人的欢欣。我会从每天与朋友的接触当中，尽量寻找一种自我的肯定，来安慰自己。我发现我每天所做的事，就是尽量在讨好别人。你不觉的这个人活的很辛苦吗？

庆幸的是，我还能观察自己的改变。我有试着让自己不这么去想，开始提醒自己，我并没有那么伟大，可以影响别人。大多时候，只是自己在空烦恼罢了。我必须学习放下某些事物，不要全部的东西都付出完全的精神、感情，因为离开有感情的事物，只会让我更伤心。

我发现我越来越不能接受这样的自己。我为何会有这样的改变呢？我真的不知到其中的原因。

我好想重新开始，回到过去，回到那历史的转捩点，可能情况会不一样吧！

是时候转换环境了，新加坡再待两年就够了。我发现自己重幼稚园到大学，几乎都是每六年换一次环境，可能这次也不例外吧！

谢谢我身边一群朋友们对我的厚爱，你们的忍耐程度，小弟佩服，在此谢谢大家。

佳训

New semester! My last year in NUS!

Dear all,

Tomorrow is Singapore's National Day. So happy birthday!

The day after tomorrow begins my first of the two last semesters in NUS. Pressure is on for me as I have to juggle between different responsibilities of mine in different organisations. Being a chairperson in CVCF is definitely not an easy task. Thank God for guiding me throughout, and I still got fire in me!

Someone told me that I am showing more emotions on my face than before. Good thing? Bad thing?

For the next semester, I will be taking 4 modules + 1 FYP: final year project. I will be taking PC4259 Surface Physics, PC3233 Atomic and Molecular Physics 1, ESP4302 Nanophotonics and GE2228 Atmospheric Environment. I took the geography module just to fulfill the little geography dream that I have in my mind before I decided to indulge myself in scientific research!

For my FYP, all I can say is my project involves using laser to do some sort of patterning of catalyst. After that, I will use the catalyst to grow nanostructures, most likely one-dimensional structures of semiconductor for various applications.

I got myself a new camera and I am very excited about it. I brought it to almost all occasions and outings with my friends. I wish to capture all the moments that I have with all my lovely friends! I will post of my photos on Facebook!

Thats it for now.

Click for bigger image. Photo taken in new JJ!

Gah Hung

If you wish to comment, please choose to comment under name/url! Thanks!

Goodbye everyone!

My Canadian friends are going back soon.

And I am kind of sad.

Really enjoy the time we spent together!

Hey guys,

Hope to see you all soon, maybe in Canada!

Thanks for spending the summer with me!

Have a nice trip back home!

p/s Please tag me when you upload your photos as I do not have any. Thanks.

Gah Hung